Frank’s Top Five

04 Jun

Upset that he wasn’t consulted before the last post, Frank wants to add his two cents.  So … in his own words … here are his picks for the top five picnic tables he’s visited over the last year:

frank in alabama

I remember that missing patch of fur … man, those shots hurt!

5. Chickasabougue Park, Mobile, AL – I did not like this place one bit.  We had lightning and thunder almost every day.  One day, there was a storm so bad, some guy came by in a white car with lights on top … he said we needed to get out because of something called a “torn ado alert.”  Now I don’t know what an ado is, or what happens when it gets torn, but Woof put me in the car and we drove around for a while. He kept looking at the sky and telling me, “Look at that sky!  Have you ever seen a sky like that?”  In all honesty, I don’t look at the sky that much. I’m more of a “nose to the ground” type of guy.  I have to say it was a pretty weird color, though.  No, I didn’t like this place at all.  The picnic table wasn’t bad, though.

Frank on a picnic

Huh?  Did you say, “dinner”???

4. Georgia Veterans State Park, Cordele, GA – When we got in the car that day, I had no idea where we were going. Woof said it was the start of a “journey”.  I tell you, it was the longest drive he and I had ever taken up to then.  And when we stopped, there was this beautiful lake.  Woof wouldn’t let me go swimming in it though … something about not wanting me to become “gator shit,” whatever that means.  I liked this place. Nice view from atop the picnic table, but it was made of stone.  You ever sit on stone?  Makes your butt numb after a while. But a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do.  And I’ve got to be up high.  Better to see any bad people that might be sneaking up on us.  Woof and I look out for each other, that’s for sure!

franks hole

Asleep in my “Sun Room” at The Last Resort!

3. The Last Resort, Pagosa Springs, CO – I have to mention this place, even though I didn’t like the table.  It wasn’t just that it was made of plastic.  Woof used it to tie me up to the bench all the time.  I remember he got mad one day because he went off into this building (he does that all the time – really ticks me off) and while he was gone,  I pulled and pulled and *sproing *!  I actually got free!  I decided to take advantage of the time and visit some of the folks on the other side of the park.  I don’t know why that was worth getting yelled at!  And then there was another time when I got free and went down to the river to take a little swim.  The water wasn’t running very fast but man was it cold.  (It’s the only time I’m glad I was neutered … if I hadn’t been, those balls would have been the size of apple seeds!)

No, I liked this place because of the house I built, right next to the river. It was pretty good, if I do say so myself. I dug three different levels – one for morning, one for early afternoon, and one for when it got hot in the middle of the day.  It’s the best dirt I’ve seen on this trip!  And please … a plastic picnic table??? What’s up with that?  That’s just not right.  And speaking of apple seeds …


Hey baby!  You ever make it with a beagle????

2. Johnny Appleseed Park, Fort Wayne, IN – I meet Woof’s brother here and his nephew, Aiden.  It was nice having Aiden around.  He petted me a lot and took me for a couple of walks.  Plus, he’s more my size.  I didn’t have to reach up as far to give him a kiss as I do with Woof.

The other reason I liked this park were the chicks.  Man, you should have seen the legs on that cute golden retriever that camped out next to us for a few days … woof!  She was a knockout!


Woof, you’re spending way too much time on the laptop … this is what’s called an “intervention”.

1. Circle The Wagons RV Park, La Veta, CO – I have to take exception to Woof’s post yesterday.  He keeps telling people that I was oblivious to those three deer that walked right by us when we were sitting on the picnic table that one morning.  Hell, I saw them! I knew they were something I’m supposed to chase.  But I’m a lover, not a fighter hunter!  I mean, if he’s feeding me every day, why do I need to chase down a momma deer and her two babies???  I’ll stick with food I don’t have to catch.  Unless I don’t have to run after it … like that big piece of chicken I caught off the table when Woof left it there at the last camp while he went to get my kibble out of the back of the car.  He got mad when he came back and saw me scarfing it down.  But you tell me – if you had a choice between a nice, juicy chicken breast and some hard, dry pieces of bone meal and vegetables, which are you gonna choose? Exactly! You’d have been sneaking that thing off the table, too.  Every. Single. Time.

So that’s it.  I’ll keep giving you the canine perspective on places we visit.  I’m enjoying this journey of ours. Lots of cool places.  Lots of bushes to mark.  I’ve hit bushes and trees and rocks and stuff in 20 different states now.  How many beagles can lay claim to that?!?!?






Posted by on June 4, 2016 in Frank Speaks, Travels


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

4 responses to “Frank’s Top Five

  1. Donna

    June 4, 2016 at 9:46 am

    WOW Frank, look at the difference in your boyish figure from Mobile, AL to Fort Wayne, IN. Lookin’ good Frankie-baby, real good! Just wait until the chicks down at the Jersey Shore get a look of you! 🙂


  2. Michael Henry

    June 5, 2016 at 9:06 pm

    Hey Frank !!!!! it’s Moose…I met you at Otter Creek Campground yesterday…..hope you enjoy your travels and take of Jeff….ahhhhhhrooooooof


  3. Michael Henry

    June 12, 2016 at 8:18 pm

    Just thought I would let you know Moose was sniffin around for ol’ Frank this weekend. Hope your travels are going well


    • ustabe

      June 13, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      Hi, Mike! Bobbie brought Moose by for a visit the day before we left Otter Creek. When he saw Frank, Moose acted like he was greeting an old friend that he hadn’t seen for decades! Frank was equally excited … until Moose got too close to the food dish and then Frank got protective.

      Later on, the two of them ran around together on the grass next to the playground. We spent most of the time trying to keep their leashes from getting tangled! What I found funny was that Frank seems to have been watching a bunch of late night Bruce Lee movies after I’ve gone to sleep, or something. He’s developed this “jump and spin” kick move, the difference being that instead of using his leg, he was throwing his entire rear end at Moose’s head! And Moose would keep coming at him. It was really funny to watch.

      Hopefully their paths cross again as we criss-cross the country. In the meantime, I’ll pass your note along to Frank. He was very unhappy that we had to pull away just after Moose had his paws up on the passenger door saying goodbye. :o)



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