Category Archives: Frank Speaks

Frank’s Big Dance Ticket


Frank’s not happy that the Villanova Wildcats are the #1 seed …

It’s that time of year again! And being the roundball fan, Frank has made his picks for the NCAA tournament.

Frank’s Final Four is:

The University of Nevada Wolf Pack
The Butler Bulldogs
The Wisconsin Badgers
The Gonzaga Bulldogs

He has an all Bulldog championship game, with Gonzaga beating Butler, 77-71.

Do I detect a theme here?

I pointed out to him that badgers aren’t really in the same family as dogs and wolves. He mumbled something like, “close enough,” and headed into the Nutshell to take a nap before the games started.

Quite frankly, I’m surprised Frank said anything to me at all. He’s still upset that I have two Wildcats in my Final Four – Villanova and the University of Arizona.  He didn’t feel any better when I told him that I had the University of North Carolina beating Iowa State in the other Final Four game,  and that I was picking the Tar Heels to beat Arizona in the final. “At  least I didn’t pick a Wildcat to win it all,” I told him!

He gave me the same look he does when I’m ready to go to bed and he’s already laid out in the Nutshell’s cabin, unwilling to move over to give me some room. That blank stare of disgust. I can only imagine the sulking I’ll have to deal with if a team with a feline mascot winds up winning it all.


Frank’s dream NCAA Tournament team – the Charlotte School of Law’s Legal Beagles!!!

Frank still longs for the day when the Charlotte School of Law has a basketball team,  and that they’re good enough to make the tournament. Their mascot? The Legal Beagle, of course!

He says the same thing every March. And I do the same chant, just to mess with him:

Go Beagles!  Fight That Bail!  Appeal That Sentence!

Sorry, buddy … like I said before, it  just doesn’t quite have that “ring” to it.

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Posted by on March 16, 2017 in Frank Speaks


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Frank’s Top Five

Upset that he wasn’t consulted before the last post, Frank wants to add his two cents.  So … in his own words … here are his picks for the top five picnic tables he’s visited over the last year:

frank in alabama

I remember that missing patch of fur … man, those shots hurt!

5. Chickasabougue Park, Mobile, AL – I did not like this place one bit.  We had lightning and thunder almost every day.  One day, there was a storm so bad, some guy came by in a white car with lights on top … he said we needed to get out because of something called a “torn ado alert.”  Now I don’t know what an ado is, or what happens when it gets torn, but Woof put me in the car and we drove around for a while. He kept looking at the sky and telling me, “Look at that sky!  Have you ever seen a sky like that?”  In all honesty, I don’t look at the sky that much. I’m more of a “nose to the ground” type of guy.  I have to say it was a pretty weird color, though.  No, I didn’t like this place at all.  The picnic table wasn’t bad, though.

Frank on a picnic

Huh?  Did you say, “dinner”???

4. Georgia Veterans State Park, Cordele, GA – When we got in the car that day, I had no idea where we were going. Woof said it was the start of a “journey”.  I tell you, it was the longest drive he and I had ever taken up to then.  And when we stopped, there was this beautiful lake.  Woof wouldn’t let me go swimming in it though … something about not wanting me to become “gator shit,” whatever that means.  I liked this place. Nice view from atop the picnic table, but it was made of stone.  You ever sit on stone?  Makes your butt numb after a while. But a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do.  And I’ve got to be up high.  Better to see any bad people that might be sneaking up on us.  Woof and I look out for each other, that’s for sure!

franks hole

Asleep in my “Sun Room” at The Last Resort!

3. The Last Resort, Pagosa Springs, CO – I have to mention this place, even though I didn’t like the table.  It wasn’t just that it was made of plastic.  Woof used it to tie me up to the bench all the time.  I remember he got mad one day because he went off into this building (he does that all the time – really ticks me off) and while he was gone,  I pulled and pulled and *sproing *!  I actually got free!  I decided to take advantage of the time and visit some of the folks on the other side of the park.  I don’t know why that was worth getting yelled at!  And then there was another time when I got free and went down to the river to take a little swim.  The water wasn’t running very fast but man was it cold.  (It’s the only time I’m glad I was neutered … if I hadn’t been, those balls would have been the size of apple seeds!)

No, I liked this place because of the house I built, right next to the river. It was pretty good, if I do say so myself. I dug three different levels – one for morning, one for early afternoon, and one for when it got hot in the middle of the day.  It’s the best dirt I’ve seen on this trip!  And please … a plastic picnic table??? What’s up with that?  That’s just not right.  And speaking of apple seeds …


Hey baby!  You ever make it with a beagle????

2. Johnny Appleseed Park, Fort Wayne, IN – I meet Woof’s brother here and his nephew, Aiden.  It was nice having Aiden around.  He petted me a lot and took me for a couple of walks.  Plus, he’s more my size.  I didn’t have to reach up as far to give him a kiss as I do with Woof.

The other reason I liked this park were the chicks.  Man, you should have seen the legs on that cute golden retriever that camped out next to us for a few days … woof!  She was a knockout!


Woof, you’re spending way too much time on the laptop … this is what’s called an “intervention”.

1. Circle The Wagons RV Park, La Veta, CO – I have to take exception to Woof’s post yesterday.  He keeps telling people that I was oblivious to those three deer that walked right by us when we were sitting on the picnic table that one morning.  Hell, I saw them! I knew they were something I’m supposed to chase.  But I’m a lover, not a fighter hunter!  I mean, if he’s feeding me every day, why do I need to chase down a momma deer and her two babies???  I’ll stick with food I don’t have to catch.  Unless I don’t have to run after it … like that big piece of chicken I caught off the table when Woof left it there at the last camp while he went to get my kibble out of the back of the car.  He got mad when he came back and saw me scarfing it down.  But you tell me – if you had a choice between a nice, juicy chicken breast and some hard, dry pieces of bone meal and vegetables, which are you gonna choose? Exactly! You’d have been sneaking that thing off the table, too.  Every. Single. Time.

So that’s it.  I’ll keep giving you the canine perspective on places we visit.  I’m enjoying this journey of ours. Lots of cool places.  Lots of bushes to mark.  I’ve hit bushes and trees and rocks and stuff in 20 different states now.  How many beagles can lay claim to that?!?!?






Posted by on June 4, 2016 in Frank Speaks, Travels


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Feeling Bad for Frank

It’s Saturday morning, the 2nd day of the new year.  One of the side benefits of this lifestyle is that I am completely free of worrying about writing “2015” on my checks and then having to cross it out.  Of course, I think I might have written five checks in the two years before becoming a vagabond, so it’s not like that was a major problem.  But I digress …

Anyhow, we awoke this morning to rain.  Again.  More rain.  It’s not supposed to let up until sometime tomorrow afternoon, which means a second full day in the tent.  I can deal with it, but I’m pretty sure it’s getting to my little buddy Frank just a bit.

Franklin’s been sitting on the floor, staring at the ceiling.  (Franklin Phideaux Cox is his full name, by the way. Not sure if I’ve mentioned that before).  He’ll look at one part of the ceiling for a little while, then at another section before heaving a big sigh of disgust.  When he gets tired of that, he jumps up on the cot to see if that vantage point might offer a hint of  letup in the continual drumming. He is quite literally, not a happy camper.

It wasn’t raining when we arrived and I could tell he really liked the new place.  I staked out his lead before going about setting up camp.  Now normally, Frank is doing everything he can to “help” with the set up process, mostly as manager.  He wants to get smack dab in the middle of everything … I assume to make sure I’m doing it right.  Like most managers, he “helps” add time to a project without there being any real benefit from his micromanagement (and I say this as someone who managed folks in a prior lifetime). Take it from me, Frank is a helluva micro-manager.

But not this time.  The scents emanating up from bushes, trees and whatever hidden animals might be watching were totally occupying his attention.  The lead allowed him to go back into the bushes about 8 or 9 feet and he was digging it! Judging from the smile on his face whenever he responded to my “check-in” calls, he was definitely in doggie heaven!

But that’s in the distant past as far as Frank is concerned.  The “present” means having to sit in a 14 x 9 foot space and listen to the barrage of water pinging off the rainfly.


Yep.  It’s a big tree, alright!

We were outside on Thursday.  We walked around our little loop of campsites a bit and then drove down to see the water and the “Big Tree”.  Not just any big tree – the Big Tree … a live Oak estimated to be over 1,000 years old. Charleston had a big tree, too.   Having seen both, but not being blessed with a great visual memory, I can’t honestly say which is bigger.  But hey, this is Texas.  “Big” here is going to be bigger’n and better’n anything else because, well, it’s Texas.

But alas.  In the middle of our explorations, the rain started, so we retreated back to the tent. And that’s where we’ve been ever since.  We did take a short drive yesterday afternoon for some grub.  He wasn’t any happier in the car … he was whining the whole time, which is not normal for him.  He loves being on a drive. Except during the rain.

I’ve promised him a long walk as soon as it stops.  A walk’ll do both of us good.  In the meantime, he’ll just have to be content with the attention I’m giving him as I try to distract him from his misery.  Somehow, I don’t think I’m doing as good a job helping him with his depression as he did, helping me with mine.

Poor Frank.  :o(


Rain.  Why’s it gotta be raining???


Posted by on January 2, 2016 in Frank Speaks, Travels


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Did I remember to dig up that bone and bring it with me from the last campsite or not???

pensive Frank

Happy New Year, everyone!

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Posted by on December 31, 2015 in Frank Speaks


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Merry Christmas

Yes. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Feed me!


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Posted by on December 25, 2015 in Frank Speaks


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Frank’s Photos

frankncotFrank likes the new cot … sort of.  He certainly likes it during days when we can’t go outside because of weather!  It gives up a lot of width compared to the air bed.  It’s long enough though where I’ve figured out that if I move down a bit so that I leave room above my head, Frank can sleep there … that’s what he did last night.  Actually, he sleeps all over the place.  That’s about the biggest adjustment for me – he woke me up quite a few times last night first getting out of the sleeping bag; then moving up above the pillow; then jumping off to get some water; then back up to the foot of the cot.  I finally said, “Geezus, Frank, will you light, please? Lay down!”  His response was to lie against the back of my knees with a “pffft”.

The first night, Frank didn’t really know what to make of it.  I had him stay outside while I put it together (he was such a help getting the sleeping bag laid out on the floor), and when I let him in the tent, he stopped dead in his tracks and just looked at it.  Then at me. Then back at the cot.  I laid on the floor to check email and he immediately situated himself between me and the laptop, pressing his whole body against my chest.  Frank doesn’t do “change” very well. I’ll give him credit though – he adapts a helluva lot better to it than I historically have!

He also likes hanging out under the cot at times too …



Posted by on December 13, 2015 in Frank Speaks


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Frank on a Bender

Was that tequila we were drinking last night? Man, I thought I told you … no tequila for me!



Posted by on December 12, 2015 in Frank Speaks


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